Thursday 24 September 2009

Day one

Being a gypsy is not easy. Above all because you can’t afford to get attached to anything. In fact “things” are all temporary, disposable and must be left behind, because what really matters is feelings and freedom.
And the same applies to the people that you meet along the way, they all have to be left behind one day, unless they are also a gypsy and go with you. Was I born like this or did life make me into one? Well, after 200 years of Military “Fathers”, each one born in a different place, many miles from each other; after 10 schools, 100 houses and 1000 moves; brought up looking outside, questioning what is behind the next hill and the next one and the next one, how can I be anything other then a gypsy!!
Going back is painful. Coming back to the UK, to my house, to my work, is unheard of for me, exactly because it’s painful and I don’t like pain at all! It is a strange place to be, no man’s land, nor here, nor there, waiting to do the passage, all stamped up and ready to start again. I suppose it is especially painful because this is such a great Country, full of different realities that co-exist side by side in the smallest of spaces, permanently adjusting and respecting, because that is the British way. Some do it by politeness, not really feeling the appeal of the exotic, but the majority does it because of genuine niceness and because they are a civilized people. And because of their DNA chain has 90% more humour genes then everyone else!! How many times a day do you laugh? I for sure took that for granted. It is more important to laugh, in general, then to get a hug. A hug is important, very necessary in times of sadness, but laughing does something to our souls that only making love to that special one can surpass. . Someone told me last week in response to the lack of humour in my new life that, living without it, is like living without music! Very true.

But, like everything else, they too have to stay behind, because the way is forward. I look at it and feel (gypsy life is all about feeling!) incredibly privileged for the time spent in the mist of this society. The lessons they taught me will be invaluable to the rest of my life. Above all try to deal with everything with humour; love, death, joy and adversity, the best way is always to joke.
I seem to pass through people’s lives like a hurricane, fast in, fast out, leaving nothing in it’s place. And I don’t even stay for the reconstruction! This upsets those that have deep roots the most, but it also causes great distress to the ones that actually want to go, but can’t make them selves run and follow what they really feel is right.
So that is the struggle, to feel to the maximum without getting too hurt. Experience the strongest wind on a naked bike and enduring the pain in the neck! Loving friends more then they have ever imagined possible and closing the door when it’s time to go, not for them, but for me. And the struggle goes now to another level. The gypsy soul is in love! Dangerous you might say, especially for the brave/foolish man that decided it was a good idea to love, protect and cherish this troubled being that is me! Dangerous it is, in fact, but that has one huge advantage to conventional certainty: exactly because it’s dangerous, you pay more attention to every detail, every day is a beginning and, again, you feel the all thing much more and intensely. I mean, it’s like getting on your Motorbike every day, isn’t it?! Well, it should be and maybe less divorces existed if people saw it like that instead of being bored out of their minds.

It would have been impossible to be this “wise” and sorted without all the mad races, on or off the bike, without all the crazy escapes, without all the fidgeting!! And I know a soul like mine is not made for settlement, which is very important, because only when we know ourselves can we be happy with someone else. And that is the objective, from now to whenever ( maybe only tomorrow), TO BE HAPPY!
It starts today, I’m choosing the wedding dress…My God it feels an alien concept! Another lesson I suppose and with the help of my friend, much more experienced then me, it should come out alright. Although, the devil in me is trying to lure me to go to Jack Lilley's instead and get a Speed Triple, probably the same price but much better value for money! I say to the devil, I expect to enjoy that dress as much as I enjoyed the bike and intend the get many miles out of it, not just one Sunday ride out in March!!
S